May 2012
35 posts
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If I may be real
I was incredibly moved by the personal concern my physician showed me today, how he was more interested in my emotional well-being the past year than my physical health. He says it’s all related. He wasn’t rushing to determine what drug I should be put on. I appreciate having that come from a doctor.
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At my new job, when I got my first assignment
whatshouldwecallme:
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Why did the chicken cross the road?
Greg Boyd: It’s a possibility that the chicken crossed the road.
Rick Warren: The chicken was purpose driven.
Mark Driscoll: The chicken crossed because of the rooster’s leadership.
Pelagius: Because the chicken was able to.
John Piper: God decreed the event to maximize his glory.
Irenaeus: The glory of God is the chicken fully alive.
C.S. Lewis: If a chicken finds itself with a desire that nothing on this side can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that it was created for the other side.
Billy Graham: The chicken was surrendering all.
Pluralist: The chicken took one of many equally valid roads.
Universalist: All chickens cross the road.
Annihilationist: The chicken was hit by a car and ceased to exist.
Fred Phelps: God hates chickens.
Martin Luther: The chicken was leaving Rome.
Tim LaHaye: The chicken didn’t want to be left behind.
Harold Camping: Don’t count your chickens until they’ve hatched.
James White: I reject chicken centered eisegesis.
John Wesley: The chicken’s heart was strangely warmed.
Thomas: I won’t believe the chicken crossed unless I see it with my own eyes.
Philip: The chicken teleported to the other side.
Rob Bell: The chicken. Crossed the road. To get. Cool glasses.
Joel Osteen: The chicken crossed the road to maximize his personal fulfillment so that he could be all that God created him to be.
Creflo Dollar: God told the chicken that if he clucked, “That land across the road is mine!,” he could claim it. He crossed the road to take possession.
Roger Olson: The chicken recognizes no clear evangelical boundaries.
Peter: What chicken? What road? Never knew a chicken!! (rooster crows)
Ezekiel: God revived those chicken bones and then they crossed the road.
Paul: The chicken went to sleep and fell out the window only to be able to cross the road
TD Jakes: A manifestation of the Chicken crossed the road for his blessings.
Jim Wallis: The poor chicken was fleeing fundamentalists.
Gary Demar: The chicken was fleeing the destruction of Jerusalem in AD 70. That’s it.
Jim Wallis: The chicken is an organizer for Occupy Barnyard.
Emergent: For this chicken, its not the destination that’s important. Its the journey itself.
Christian Pacifist: This is clearly an act of barnyard aggression that is condemned in the Sermon on the Mount.
N.T. Wright: This act of the chicken, which would be unthinkable in British barnyards, reeks of that American individualism that is destructive to community.
Al Mohler: When a chicken begins to think theologically, he has no other alternative but to come over to the Calvinist side.
Freud: This whole exercise is obviously driven by chicken envy
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Confusing verses in John, Pt.III
Pilate is schizo.
kunhelee asked: How do you wear such tight pants? When I wear a pair, I want to rip them apart after 2 hours, and let my boys take a breather..
WatchGod hates & loves sinners.
friend of sinners →
“The best example I think of where someone got along especially well with folks with differing values is Jesus. Here’s a holy man, a guy who founded one of the largest religions of all time, and who did he spend most of his time with? Prostitutes, thieves, partiers - the rough crowd. The religious people of his day were scandalized by his associations. They called him a ‘friend of sinners.’
Those...
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euangelion
Or “gospel” in Greek. I thank the lord that the good news is consistently preached at my church in Philly not only in its narrow sense - the saving death and resurrection of Jesus in whom a sinner is freed from the condemnation of sin and finds eternal life with God - but also in a broader scope. Allow me to elucidate what I think to be efficacious gospel preaching.
Paul uses the...
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Confusing verses in John, Pt.II
Chapter 11:
5 Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. 6 So, when he heard that Lazaruswas ill, he stayed two days longer in the place where he was. 7 Then after this he said to the disciples, “Let us go to Judea again.” 8 The disciples said to him, “Rabbi, the Jews were just now seeking to stone you, and are you going there again?” 9 Jesus answered, “Are there not twelve hours in the...
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Confusing verses in John, Pt.I
Chapter 10:
33 The Jews answered him, “It is not for a good work that we are going to stone you but for blasphemy, because you, being a man, make yourself God.” 34 Jesus answered them, “Is it not written in your Law, ‘I said, you are gods’? 35 If he called them gods to whom the word of God came—and Scripture cannot be broken— 36 do you say of him whom the Father consecrated and sent into the...
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Your loneliness is not a mark of your imperfection...
Our loneliness and desire to be understood by others should prompt an “aha!” that yes! We were made to be in community to reflect the perfect community of the trinitarian God - father, son and holy spirit all joyfully pleasing the other in a communal dance.
That means “no” to a solo Christian walk this summer, guys! :) Serve the local kingdom in accordance to your...
What do I do when I am so in love with you I...
Oh Ben Shyong..
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This time will be different
Life at home, that is. My father complimented my mom’s cooking in addition to buying me Christian bracelets from China. I honestly don’t recognize this man.
Finding myself easily submissive to chores and commands by my parents. This summer should be alright.
Obligatory End of Year Post Part 2 →
Continued shoutouts:
RCF Sophomores - It’s funny how people end up in places. I’m so encouraged to pray more by your story of how at the end of last year, you guys prayed for more guys in the freshman class. I guess you’re stuck with us now! But I believe one of the reasons the guys of my freshman class are here is because of the mighty intercession of the sisters in this class. You’re class is...
Obligatory End of Year Post Part 1 →
I haven’t written anything since the beginning of finals. It’s all been a blur and now it’s time to reminisce about the whole year. This is going to be a really jumbled post…
First, shoutouts:
Acc. Bro’s - You guys have blessed me in so many ways. It amazes me to think that God would bring the three of us together with all of our differences and personalities. I still remember the headaches we...
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The most common command in the Bible
“Do not be afraid”
What Do We Desire Most For Our Sisters? →
As my college days wind down and come to an end, I have been reflecting more and more about my four years here at Maryland; more specifically, how God has grown me in the many weak areas of my life. And though I should to be studying for my final exam at this moment, I decided to journal one of these thoughts that I feel would be of timely relevance for some, if not many, within my KCM community.
...
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cash rules errthang around me
CREAM, git the money, dollar dollar bill yall.
As faith would wane in increased monetary giving, God provides with an incredible tax refund! Thank you Obama. Time to steward.
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So Jay Chou is getting baptized... →
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Isaiah: covenant prosecutor
In the beginning parts of his book, Isaiah accuses especially the leadership on what we might call “permissible sins,” or at least sins beneath the surface that are harder to detect. So I’m getting hit pretty hard on this one.
We have listed hypocrisy, selfishness, self-indulgence, and sarcasm (Isaiah 1:10-15, 5:8, 5:11, 5:19-20). Like any other sin, these sins produce both...
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